Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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