wanna go halves on a baby?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
