one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
