It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
