Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Congratulations! We have a period
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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