if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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