Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
