shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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