WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Welp...herpes.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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