we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
