He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
