Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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