Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
