Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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