im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
