fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
smell my finger.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
