I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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