Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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