Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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