Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
