I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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