why didn't you poke me back
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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