THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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