Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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