I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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