does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
