I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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