it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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