Dual....:-)
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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