bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
high people should be assigned attendants
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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