He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
