She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
