In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
