Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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