I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
