so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
