he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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