My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i think i have herpe
just one?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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