when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize