farters have to be the big spoon...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
