Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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