Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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