I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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