i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
