i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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