He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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