Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
