She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
