No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
