My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
