I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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