I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
