dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
