i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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