i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
