Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
