OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
